For as long as I can remember I have known that I want a husband and a family. By the time I hit my early teenage years I wanted a boyfriend. All of my friends had but I didn't. From then my self esteem started to fall.
They were prettier than me. The boys always liked them but never noticed me. Therefore there must be something wrong with me. I figured one day, however, it would be my turn.
One day hasn't come though. I'm still the one that gets bypassed as guys go for my friends. It seems as though everywhere I look there are couples, or girls and guys 'talking' or dating or liking each other; but not me.
The scary thing is that I don't think my situation is going to change anytime soon. I feel like God has me in this position because He needs to work out some things in me first. I judge my value based on how guys see me... but that's not the way it should be.
My value, my goal, my greatest desire and joy should be in a relationship with God. That's how as His daughter and beloved it should be. And I think that that's what God is trying to teach me. I mean I know it in my head but it's not a reality in my heart.
So I may be single for a long time yet. No guy may approach me, talk to me, even look at me, but I believe that one day God will bring me to the point where that's okay. And God, even though I'm real lonely right now, as I have been many times before, I trust You know what's best for me and that's what You're doing. So here I am, do what You must. Thank You and I love You.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28
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