Showing posts with label hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hard. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I'm trusting You

So you make a new friend. This is good news when you're in a position like mine. What's more, she's really nice! She's friendly, helps you out  and makes the extra effort. Yay =)

Then... you find out that the guy you're crushing on... likes her. And they're talking. And when you're with her she talks to you about him. Hm. You try your best to just smile and pretend that nothing's amiss. That's not all. She seems perfect. She's beautiful, kind, genuine, sings, plays instruments, dances, models, you name it. That's in addition to having the guy you were checking.

It's at times like these that I just have to go back to God and say, you know what, God, You promised me that everything would work out for my good. I just don't get why my life seems to have this common thread of being let down (in this area specifically), but I'm trusting You. I don't see any potential available person for me here or back home, but I'm trusting You. I don't know how long I'll be alone, or if it's for good, but I'm trusting You. I don't get why everybody else seems to get through, at least once or twice, but I haven't, but I'm trusting You.

Lord, I'm trusting You.

That is all.

Friday, January 27, 2012

So what do you do when...

you're all alone?

Well, technically you're not because you have friends. But these are friends you haven't known too long, who have other friends and only check for you sometimes. You're just one of many options. Hey, that's okay, after all they have no obligation to you. But when you don't have many options that means you end up being...alone.

For some people who tend to prefer their own company and lean on the more independent side, this is okay. But for those of us who thrive on social interaction and don't like going places or doing things alone, this is hard. When I'm alone in my room for hours and/or know my friends have gone out without me...it's hard. When I'm tired but can't sleep and all I can do is think of home and all the possibilities that come with it... it's hard. When I long to see my family, lie down in my own bed, hang out with my sister, go to the church to play cards with my friends...it's hard. Right now...it's hard.

Sigh. I guess this is another one of those lessons that God is teaching me. Am I enough?, He asks me. How do you feel when it's just you and Me, when you have to depend on me for pretty much everything, even companionship? I have seen Him provide for me spiritually, physically, financially and materially, but do I trust Him to provide for me socially?

It's hard, but I know God is making me into a strong, Christian young woman who is independent of man and dependent on Him. It is a test. So Lord, thank You for the friends I do have and the people I have met here. Bless and increase the wholesome relationships in my life. Thank You for this period of testing when You're teaching me to lean on You for everything.


Back to my question... so what do you do when you're all alone?
DON'T SPEND YOUR TIME WALLOWING IN SELF PITY! (note to self lol) Find something constructive to do with your time like:

Blogging =)
Spending time with God- reading the Bible, prayer, listening to music, intercession
Connect with other people (online, call, text, join some kind of group)






"I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.
 I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.
 Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low"
Psalm 142:5